Platoon of the Dead (2009)

Well, it was bound to happen. I wouldn’t have thought it would happen so perfectly though. Midway through an otherwise exceptional horror-fest; I get a real dud.

For the love of all things horror; watch ANYTHING ELSE but this! Watch The Notebook! Watch The Mist! Watch Hannah Montana! Just DON’T watch this.

Matt and Tom produce more inspired short films than this ilk. Platoon of the Dead has got to be the result of a long night that included a bong and some beer. The entire film is one tiresome hack job.  The sad thing is I think the creators tried to make a legit zombie movie.  They failed (and I venture just like everything else) miserably.  Platoon of the Dead isn't even 'so bad, it's funny'.  It's just bad; please save yourself and DON'T watch this!!

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Reviewed: 05.23.2007

Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp) has lived a solitary existence, since the death of his creator (Vincent Price). {Price's last onscreen performance.  Those scenes are worth the price of admission alone.}  As his name implies, Edward has been left with scissors where he should have hands. When the local Avon lady (Dianne Weist) calls on his castle, Edward is introduced to a new environment. Brought home to stay with her family, Edward awkwardly begins to adapt to his new surroundings despite raising the eyebrows of the neighbors. Edward is soon making new friends thanks to his natural talent in cutting hedges and hair. Unfortunately for Edward, he might not be cut out for this new lifestyle.

Burton's modern fairytale lacks real character development. {----I was SO wrong.}  Fortunately, the characters are just that, characters and in all their quirky splendor, they are intriguing. Dianne West as the guardian angel/Avon Lady is simply a hoot. Winona Ryder, whose character suffers greatly for misdirection, is beautiful, but underdeveloped. Alan Arkin provides his sarcastic dialog with relish. Vincent Price is perfectly Machiavellian in the black and white flashbacks. Johnny Depp is his phenomenal self. Without saying a word he conveys an incredible range of emotions with mere facial movements; his physical humor (watch him eating peas) is brilliant.

With Edward Scissorhands its easy to see Tim Burton's evolution. While certainly not his best, the film is an honest look into what Burton would become. Here, the viewer is keenly aware of his affection for the mildly macabre and strangely sweet. Obvious too, is his affection for Johnny Depp. One can just imagine the exchange of ideas and dialog between these two geniuses. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the terrific score by Danny Elfman that balances the odd blend of monster movie/fairy tale/dramedy.

The viewer is easily lost in the world Burton's concocted where pastel suburbia complete with bored housewives and monotone sedans coexist with dark castle on the hill (complete with it's own collection of spiderwebs and grave stones.) It is enchanting. Not to be lost, is the compelling tale of morality. Burton effectively a simple message of society and how we can all be so easily led to accept or reject people (or ideas) based on the general consensus of our peers.

The film hasn't aged well and suffers from ill-pacing, but despite its flaws, everyone could stand to hear the story again. {WTF?!  What was I smoking?! The film hasn't aged.  It's still as charming as ever.} Ultimately, Edward Scissorhands is a solid, off-beat film.