The Crow (1994)

Reviewed 11.19.2006

People once believed that when you died, a crow took your soul to the land of the dead.....but sometimes, just sometimes, the crow could bring that soul back, to make the wrong things right..."

In this 'Gotham-esque' city, master criminal Top Dollar (Michael Wincott) directs low-life underlings in wanton acts of arson and depravity on what has become known as Devil's Night, the eve of Halloween. On the eve of their wedding, rockster Eric Draven and his fiance Shelly Webster were brutally murdered. On that Devil's Night, Eric (Brandon Lee) comes home to find Shelly (Sofia Shinas) being raped and beaten, only to find himself assaulted, shot and shoved out a five-story window. They leave behind a close young friend Sarah (Rochelle Davis), endless rainy nights in the city, and infinite sorrow on those who knew them. A year later, a Crow brings Draven's tormented soul out of the grave, gifting him with new powers and a world of pain and grief. Guiding Draven, the Crow allows him to take revenge upon his killers and earn eternal rest.

Director Alex Proyas' revenge thriller is just bad. The characters are bad interpretations of bad guys. With fool-hardy names like Skank, Funboy, and T-Bird, who begin each night of depravity with 'Fire it Up', what else do you expect? The mastermind behind them all, with his equally non-sensical name, Top Dollar, carries a sword, has a penchant for eyeballs and calls an Asian woman with weird lips his sister. Still with me? When Top Dollar says "this is already boring the sh!t out of me," the viewer can't help think the same.

As for Brandon Lee, it's a shame we never saw him do more. Beneath the Insane Clown Posse reject make-up is a glimmer of emotion and passion that might be unique. With his skin-tight heroine chic ninja oufit, complete with electric guitar, the audience knows he's out to save Gotham City. Or not. To his credit, Lee, is given some of the worst moments of dialogue and tries for believability. "Suddenly I heard a tapping, as of someone gently rapping...at my chamber door". Raven.. Crow... not the same thing. Nice try. Wait, depressed teenagers wouldn't know the difference.

The Crow complete with its weird, creepy, Gothic atmosphere is visually interesting to watch. While it has reached cult status with depressed teens everywhere, a closer look shows this film doesn't hold water. It's a shame a smart graphic novel can become a mockery of itself so quickly. With characters that barely rise from the grave themselves, stuck in obviously cliched melodramatic moments, The Crow is so bad, it's funny.

01.10.10 ~ Funny, when I went back to retrieve this review, I remembered it being positive.  Wrong.  This is incredibly harsh for what I now view as a guilty pleasure.  Ouch.